


Restless Hearts

by PaddlingDingo



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: ALIAM timeline, Background Conniel, F/M, Friendship, Jericho androids just trying to get by, Just love out here, M/M, MARKUS HAS TWO HANDS, Markus is clueless, North is the best girlfriend, Simon’s backstory will be revealed, aliam canon, obviously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2019-03-05
Packaged: 2019-08-22 12:43:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16598141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaddlingDingo/pseuds/PaddlingDingo
Summary: One of the things North loved about Markus was his honesty.It made it all the more frustrating that he lied to himself about also being in love with her and Simon both.North needs Markus to accept that it’s possible to love more than one person, before she has to lock him in a room with Simon to figure it out. And it’s time for Markus to learn where Simon came from.—Takes place in the "A Lifetime In A Moment" timeline. Reading ALIAM is not necessary to read this story, but it’s recommended because it contains the full backstory of what happened immediately prior to this story.





	1. Paperwork and Frustration

North got sick of paperwork a matter of days after the revolution and the standoff at Hart Plaza. As an assistant to Markus, she’d spent most of her time reviewing schedules, potential laws, meetings with humans and androids alike, and endless coordination of her team’s security activities.

At least security made her feel useful. The rest just made her angry. Humans tried to apply human concepts to them, and while North understood that, it left a lot of room for misinterpretations. Killing a human was still considered worse than killing an android, because in theory an android could be rebuilt. It made no sense to her because in the majority of cases, death wasn’t reversible for them, either, just easier to delay. Violence was violence.

In all of the proposed laws, some leniency had been allowed due to the fact that a recently turned deviant android went through many of the same emotional complications as a young human. As such, some crimes were able to be forgiven. Others were not, and finding where the line was got complicated quickly.

It seemed hard for humans to consider androids anything other than what they physically looked like, which were adults. In North’s case, she’d been a being with free will less than two months. Some, even less. Others for years. How would find a standard that fits everyone?

Markus, Josh, Simon, and North had been working at this for just over a week, trying to overcome these complications and find the right ways to move forward. Markus and Josh were naturals to this process, able to be diplomats. Simon had a calm that helped him work with androids and humans both, but he preferred to work in the trenches. As did she, but she felt like if nothing else Markus needed the extra pairs of eyes. Josh had a far better ability for this, as well as a better sense of diplomacy, but North’s concerns that they could risk giving too many concessions to the humans had driven her help where she could. Another pair of eyes never hurt.

Her pair of eyes, however, felt like they would fall out of her head if she had to stare at one more iteration of the newest set of laws.

“Human laws are too complicated,” she muttered, setting down her datapad and looking up at Markus and Josh.

“Sometimes the important things don’t come easily,” Josh pointed out. He set down his datapad and walked over to her, putting an arm on her shoulder. “Take a break if you need one.”

His hand on her shoulder was solid, and she smiled up at him, grateful. It hasn’t always been this friendly between them. Some days, it wasn’t perfect; she thought Josh was too soft towards humans, and Josh thought that North could be too aggressive. But they met in the common ground where androids and humans would have to find a way to live together, somehow. Josh brought a lot of idealism, North brought a practical sense and an understanding of the darker parts of humanity, and Simon brought an amazing ability to get things done. It all supported Markus and his vision of a free android race.

“I appreciate that you’re willing to look at it,” Markus commented, looking up at her and smiling.

She loved that smile. She loved Markus. They’d given each other hope when things were difficult, when they were hopeless. She loved his mismatched eyes, his spirit, his love in the face of pain and violence.

“I have a lot of feedback on this round.” Josh nodded, pulling away from North. “I’m going to go take a break, see how everyone is doing downstairs. It’s getting late in the afternoon, how about we think about it and write up our amendments in the morning?”

“That sounds good.” Markus moved forward and put an arm on Josh’s. “Thank you for everything you do.”

“It’s what we all do.” Josh smiled, hugging Markus and leaving the room.

As the door closed, Markus sagged against the desk, rubbing at his temple. “I know it’s not possible for me to have an actual headache, but I’m starting to wonder if being deviant can come with headaches.”

“Headaches aren’t always just physical pain, Markus.” North stood from her seat and came up behind him, wrapping her arms around him. He felt warm against her, the gentle thumping of his thirium pump steady. "Is Simon back yet? Maybe he can take a turn.”

She felt him tense and wondered if she shouldn’t have said anything.

His pulse increased. “I haven’t checked.”

He’d seemed on edge and tense since Simon had left the day before to help Connor in rebuilding Daniel. Simon had come back long enough to fix a number of androids with Connor’s help, and then left again. Markus did more than worry about Simon, though, a fact that frustrated North to no end.

One of the things North loved about Markus was his honesty.

It made it all the more frustrating that he lied to himself about this.

“Do you want me to find out?” she asked.

“It’s fine.” He ran his fingers over her hand, then pulled away long enough to turn in her grasp to face her. He reached up and caressed her cheek, his smile brilliant and beautiful.

Her eyes traced the scattering of freckles across his face, leaning her head against his hand as she wrapped an arm around his back. She’d come so far from where they’d started, angry and frustrated and hopeless. Moments like this reminded her that being alive was worth it. Her pain would always be there, always be a part of her, but now it felt tempered with hope, love, life.

He took her hand, their palms laying against each other. They interfaced and North relaxed against him with a sigh, letting herself get lost in his memories and feelings. The first time it had happened between them, she couldn’t tell if it was the most beautiful thing she’d experienced, or the most terrifying. Knowing that Markus could see into all of her secrets, her pain, her anger. It scared her, made her worry that he wouldn’t want anything to do with her. He’d understood her more than she could have imagined anyone could.

She could feel the undercurrent of his restlessness, of wanting to have all of the laws sorted out so they could truly begin rebuilding.

 _I had to get the paperwork out of my mind,_ he said.

Nodding against him, she smiled. This always felt good for taking them away from that, from all of it. She’d become more comfortable with knowing he could see her memories, knowing that he’d seen everything and still loved her. She could feel it flowing from him, his contentment being with her. She wrapped herself in it, in the joy that came off him in waves when they touched. It felt like nothing else she could have imagined. She’d gone from feeling used, cast off, hopeless, to feeling loved, appreciated, respected.

This is what they had fought for, for androids to have a chance to live, to love, to become more than what they’d been made to do. North couldn’t imagine anything more wonderful than moments like this.

She hated to disrupt it, but she had to make the point. _We have to talk about Simon._

Her words caused memories to surface: of Markus watching Simon, every time he walked away. The surge of hope when he’d returned back to Jericho. His smile when Markus had made the speech in front of the other androids at Hart Plaza. As if it were her own, she could feel the tightness in her chest.

North could tell that Markus was in love with Simon, to the point that she worried she’d fall in love with Simon herself at this rate. The longing in these memories hurt, and she wanted to take that away. She felt no jealousy. She knew Markus loved her, every time they shared memories she was blown away by the depth of feeling he had for her.

But sharing thoughts that close meant she knew all of Markus’s secrets, even the ones he chose to be in denial about.

_Do we? Need to talk about him?_

North let go of Markus’s hands and opened her eyes, stepping back. She already felt the loss of the interface. “We do. Because if you don’t confront this, you’re going to drive me crazy. It’s like you’re pacing in your mind any time you think of him. And it’s making me restless, too.”

He didn’t speak for a moment. He moved his hand and brushed a strand of hair that had escaped her hat back over her ear. The tenderness in the gesture made something in her ache. “North, I love _you.”_

“I know that.” She took his hand in both of hers. “And I’m grateful, every day, for what we have. But I’m not the only one you love, and we both know it.”

Still holding her hand, he moved to the window of the office in the warehouse, surveying the activity below. His fingers interlaced with hers.

“We’re building so much. I can’t justify pulling him away from what he’s doing.”

It was cheap and she knew that Markus knew it. Sometimes she wanted him to even try to fight with her about it, give some reaction other than protesting. Something that showed he’d admit it. She wanted to push, but knew he’d probably just push back. Sighing, she looked out over the androids that worked on various tasks. Below, she saw Simon walk in, and she glanced at Markus, seeing if he noticed.

Simon greeted a handful of other androids who were sorting supplies near the entrance. It had become increasingly hard to find good ways to keep so many androids busy, and until they all were settled in places where they could find jobs and determine hobbies of their own, everyone was a resource to be leveraged. Androids worked sorting supplies, helping with repairs, working on plans for what to do next.

The blonde android moved through the crowd of androids, working his way across the warehouse that was New Jericho. It made sense that he’d come to check in with Markus, after the last couple of days that he’d been busy helping Connor.

North debated leaving them to it, maybe locking them in the office together until they had an actual conversation, but wondered how everything had turned out with Connor after Connor’s visit a couple of days previous. North had joked that Connor was busy with his “boyfriend in a box” and Connor had looked awkward enough about it that she assumed she’d hit close to the truth. She didn’t deny that she was curious how it had worked out. She didn’t have a lot of familiarity with Daniel’s case, but she knew enough to know that he risked being a prime example of where the lines with the laws could blur.

“You’re going to end up talking to Simon either way.” She pushed herself away from the window and put a hand on Markus’s shoulder. “You know I love you and I want you to be happy.”

He looked over at her, his mismatched blue and green eyes widening. “North, I am happy.”

She snorted, letting go of his hand. “You’re full of shit, Markus. No one’s happy with this much paperwork to do.”

Smiling, he kissed her cheek. It felt easy to smile around him, to just be around him. She’d had little enough reason to smile, before Markus had arrived in Jericho. Or more appropriately, faceplanted into Jericho.

“At least paperwork brings us closer to building a better world,” he pointed out.

“I love your optimism, even if I think you’re underestimating how awful humans can be.”

The door cracked open and Simon peered in. “Am I interrupting anything?”

“No, you’re good.” Markus gestured for him to come in.

Simon pressed the door open, and North fought the urge to just tell them to figure their shit out. He looked tired, perhaps… sad? North glanced at Markus, who just stared at Simon for a long moment.

North rolled her eyes and walked to Simon, putting an arm on his arm. “Everything alright? Were you able to do it?”

He reached up and put his hand over hers. The fabric of his sleeve tickled her skin. He reached his other hand up and straightened her hat, a very Simon thing to do. “It’s fine. It was a rough time there, but we rebuilt Daniel. With the help from Elijah Kamski and one of his Chloes. We secured a manufacturing platform, and Chloe says we can use it for repairs. That should get us far.”

North whistled. “That’s impressive.”

“I’d say.” Markus crossed the room to Simon and put his hands on Simon’s shoulders. “Good work, Simon.”

Simon ducked his head and blushed, and it took all North’s self control to not just shove them into each other. “How’s he doing?” she asked instead.

“Not bad, under the circumstances. Daniel can be… difficult. Hard to get through to him. A lot of pain.” A sad look crossed his face. “We’re going to see a lot more of that before it gets better. We’re not equipped to deal with the kind of emotional trauma that some of our people will be dealing with.”

“It won’t be easy.” Markus regarded Simon. “How’s Connor taking it?”

“He seems fine, but the rebuild was upsetting for him. They went to stay with Connor’s partner from the DPD. Hank.”

North let out a whistle. She hadn’t expected a cop to let another android stay there, especially one with Daniel’s record. _Not one that’s a cop killer_. Perhaps there was more to some humans than she thought. “Should I have made a bet on Connor and Daniel?”

“Probably.” Simon smiled at her. “It’s not going to be easy, but it’s good for them both.” He hesitated for a moment. “I think it might be good for Daniel to spend time with more androids. Would you mind if I brought him by here? Or maybe went to visit him there?”

“It’s fine with me.” Markus looked at Simon. “It sounds like you’ve become friends.”

“More like…” Simon winced. “I remember what it’s like to deviate. PL600s have the capacity to feel a lot, and it’s painful. I couldn’t just let him go through that. I think I’ve got a little brother out of this.”

Markus grinned. “More PL600s are always a good thing.”

The blush that crept through Simon’s face made North’s heart ache for him. “You’re a good friend, Simon.” _And now I’ve got to be a good friend, too._ She glanced over her shoulder at Markus. “Markus, I’m going to go find out how things are going downstairs, I’ve been cooped up in here too long. Why don’t you two catch up?” She backed out the door and shut it before he could say anything.

With how dense the two of them were, it would probably do no good, but she’d give it a try. She half expected Markus to send her a communication over it, but she assumed he knew that any statement she’d have for him would just make him blush, too, and he wouldn’t risk losing his composure.

Whistling to herself, North headed down the hall to find out how New Jericho fared.


	2. Knowledge and Need

Simon watched North go, wondering why she’d left in such a hurry. “She’s definitely getting out of here fast.” He looked back to Markus. “Is everything okay?”

“It’s fine.” Markus walked back to sit down at the table, his fingers brushing over the pitted wood. “We’ve just been looking at these laws for so long, we’re all tired. Josh suggested that we think about everything that we’ve read, and come back with suggestions to discuss tomorrow.”

Simon nodded. His eyes followed the curve of Markus’s shoulders, and he forced that thought out of his mind before it could distract him. It had been a long time since he’d wanted to memorize every curve of another android like this. “That sounds reasonable. I’ll also give it a look and see what feedback I’ll have. Everything with Daniel the last couple of days has taught me a lot about what we could be facing.”

From Daniel’s anger, his mistrust, the depth of his pain, it wouldn’t be the last time that they had to deal with it. Even harder, what would happen to Daniel if the laws wouldn’t work in his favor? Those androids that had committed crimes were at risk, and while Simon had only known Daniel a couple of days, he wanted him to have a chance. He’d have to work for it, but that would be up to him.

“Tell me what happened.” Markus folded his hands on the table, looking every bit the leader of the androids. He wore a long sleeved dark blue shirt, that made him appear both casual and focused. His eyes watched Simon, blue and green. Sharp and clear, keen, observing.

Simon could see the tension in Markus’s body and wished he’d relax more often. It seemed that once in a while he relaxed in front of North, but other than that Markus seemed to be constantly vigilant and Simon longed for those moments when he let his guard down. When he could just be Markus.

He could reach out and touch him. He could hug him, run his fingers over his skin, maybe hold him. He could have done anything to make Markus feel more at ease, but couldn’t get past the thought in his mind that he shouldn’t. He shouldn’t distract Markus. But he _wanted_ to distract Markus. He wanted to help support him, he wanted to put his hands on him, skin to skin. He wanted _more._ And he definitely couldn’t do that without North’s agreement. Perhaps he should talk to her about it? He considered North a friend, and she might understand. The risk came that if he talked to her at all about it, Markus would certainly find out.

But if Markus had an interest in Simon, he’d had plenty of opportunities to act on it and hadn’t. As far as Simon was concerned, that was that. He’d rather have Markus as a friend than bring something awkward between them. And love… love came with its own risks. Risks Simon wasn’t sure if he was ready to take on again.

Taking a chair across from Markus, he thought about the events of the last few days. “Connor and I visited Elijah Kamski. I was given a lot of knowledge on how to repair androids, which should help us immensely.” Simon paused for a moment, not wanting to explain the nature of the agreement with Kamski, given their creator’s interest in Markus and North’s relationship. “I can’t share it due to the encryption Kamski put on it, but I can teach it the slow way.”

“That’s great news.” Markus smiled at him and Simon felt like his heart would burst. “I don’t know what we’d do without you. What I’d do without you.”

Simon felt his face flush and he looked down and away. “Thanks.”

Markus shifted in his chair. “How are Connor and Daniel doing?”

“As good as they’ll be, for now. Repairing an android to that degree required some careful work, which we couldn’t have done without the platform.” He winced. “Deviancy makes it harder to keep a badly damaged android unconscious during repairs, which in this case caused Daniel to panic.”

“After everything that’s happened, no android is going to feel comfortable having pieces removed and replaced.” Markus tapped his fingers against each other.

“I calmed him down, but it seems like we’ll have to approach that with caution. I was only able to calm him since I’m also a PL600, and even then it took a lot out of me.” Simon shook his head, putting his hands up on the table and stretching out his fingers on the scratched up surface of the old table. “He was confused and scared. It didn’t help that in his mind, everything that happened had just happened, even though for everyone else it was months ago.” He could still hear Daniel’s panic in his mind and he wrapped his fingers around his other arm and squeezed, trying to anchor himself.

Markus reached out and a hand and put it on one of Simon’s, and Simon stopped, staring. Markus’s hand felt warm on his, and Simon felt something lurch inside of him. He wanted so much more from Markus than he knew how to ask for. Every touch meant something, more than it possibly should have.

Of course androids could fall in love. That much had become obvious. _I’ve been alone so long I don’t know what this means anymore._ Simon slowly lifted his other hand and put it on Markus’s, drawing strength from the other’s touch.

Since Markus had initiated this contact, Simon let his fingers drift over Markus’s hand, trying to give what reassurance he could in what way he could.

“Sometimes you’re too brave for your own good. Are you okay?” Markus asked, meeting Simon’s gaze.

Simon could feel the flush in his face intensifying but he didn’t look away from Markus. “I’m fine.” He hadn’t been at the time, but he didn’t want to worry Markus with the details. “We’re going to have to screen the available androids here to determine who is the most resilient to helping in this sort of situation, if it’s needed.”

“That sounds reasonable. And it’ll give people something to work towards.”

Markus’s finger ran over the palm of Simon’s hand and Simon wondered if he had any idea what it did to him. He assumed not, since otherwise he probably wouldn’t tease so much. Or would he?

Simon couldn’t focus with Markus touching his hand, so he gently pulled his hands back, hoping that Markus didn’t take it as a rejection of some kind. He reached for one of the datapads on the table to cover up the reason for pulling away.

“I’m sure that even with the potential forgiveness clause, Daniel’s case will be a difficult one. I’d like for you to meet with him because I suspect that hearing his side of the story will be useful as you go through the laws.” He held the datapad in his hands, using it to download the latest version of the proposed laws so that he could review them. There had been a staggering number of changes since the last revision he’d seen, and he felt a pang of guilt for not being there to help.

Alternately, his experiences the last two days gave him a lot more insight into what they would be dealing with once androids started entering the legal system.

“Can you tell me a little about what happened?”

Markus’s eyes were steady and Simon felt something tighten in his chest. “In Daniel’s case, the story that reached the news and that is of public record is that he killed his owners and two police officers. Then he held a girl hostage in an effort to negotiate an exit.”

“That’s going to be a hard one to overcome,” Markus observed.

“It is. But in this case, the owner was abusing his wife, and Daniel stepped between them. He deviated when he was commanded to step aside, and he refused in order to protect her.” Simon’s fingers clutched at the edges of the datapad. “The man hit him a number of times, before Daniel finally snapped.”

He could see the small shudder that came over Markus. _He cares so much. He cares_ too _much._

“That’s difficult. For any of us. But even so, his reaction seems he still killed two police on top of it, which won’t fare well in the legal system.”

Simon knew it; nothing justified Daniel’s actions, and the only reason why he was even alive is because it had been Connor that had negotiated with Kamski to get assistance for all androids as part of his bargain to repair Daniel. “There’s no clear path forward for him at this point. Regardless of what set off his deviancy, it doesn’t excuse his actions. And he’s… very aware of that.”

Markus folded his hands together again. “What’s his mental state? Is he stable?”

“For now, I believe so. It was touch and go there for a while. He ran off, and Connor went after him. He’ll be dealing with the aftermath of this for a while.” Simon set the datapad down and put his hands flat on the table on each side of it, knowing he had to broach the most difficult part of the situation. “My concern is that the laws won’t have any allowance for him, and he’ll be destroyed. Which would be devastating to Connor, and set a very poor standard.”

“Other androids will worry that the forgiveness clause is just talk.” Markus crossed his arms over his chest. “What do you suggest?”

Simon tried to ignore the ripples of muscle under his skin, the kindness in his eyes, the expression on his face. “We’re going to have to work in some sort of arrangement that allows for situations where androids need mental health treatment.”

“What does counseling even look like for us?” Markus asked, reaching up to rub at his temple. “I didn’t think of what _any_ of this would look like when I started this.”

“None of us did.” Simon sighed. “We’ll have to start making sure it’s included in the laws, even if we don’t know what it means yet.”

“And is Connor aware of the potential risk? He’s got to be concerned about it,” Markus noted.

“I’m sure that Connor is aware of all of the risks.” Perhaps not as aware as he should be, but he had to be aware. It could be conversation they’d all have to have. “He’s probably been calculating it all out. It would explain how distracted he looks.” Simon shook his head. “I think Connor’s in love with him.”

A smile broke over Markus’s face. “Isn’t this the android that Connor got killed?”

“Yeah, that’s the one.” Simon chuckled. “It’s a funny world we live in. Androids falling in love.” He felt overheated and he pushed his chair back and stood, turning to go to the window to hide the blush from Markus. _I shouldn’t have said that._ It hit too close to home. He was happy for Connor and Daniel. He was happy for Markus and North. He wasn’t jealous of North. He just wished that perhaps things could have…

 _Don’t think about that._ He couldn’t go through loving someone and possibly losing them again, and the cause was too important for what Simon wanted. He had a duty, and he had to stay focused on that.

Behind him, he could hear Markus pushing his chair back, and heard the soft footfalls come up beside him. Markus wrapped his arm around Simon’s shoulders, his fingers lightly digging in. Simon’s thirium pump no doubt betrayed him, but Simon reached up and put his hand on Markus’s. He didn’t want anything to change, and telling Markus how he felt risked changing it. Where things were at, he could be with Markus like this. He told himself it was enough.

Mercifully, Markus didn’t reply to what Simon had just said, but his fingers brushed Simon’s shoulder. Simon closed his eyes and tried to calm the feeling in his chest.

“That’s got to be a lot for Connor to take in. A lot of guilt, I’d guess?”

Simon nodded, trying to forget Markus’s touch on his shoulder. “Yes. They’ve both got guilt to work through. Welcome to emotions.”

“It’s not all bad.”

Simon glanced over to see him grinning. “Optimistic,” Simon observed, feeling himself smile. “I wish Lucy was here to see this.”

“I do, too.” Markus’s fingers clenched at Simon’s shoulder. “She was the best of us.”

“She was.” Simon sighed. Lucy had been there when Adrian had shut down, when Simon had felt the despair. She’d held him while he shook and cried, not knowing how to deal with he sense of loss that had filled him. Time had taken away the immediacy of it, but his memory of it still felt strong. She’d know how to help Daniel. And she’d know how to help Simon. She’d tell him probably to follow his own heart.

None of it negated the fact that he wanted more from Markus, but the potential pain of loss was more than he could bring himself to think about.

“You and Lucy did a lot for Jericho. For us.”

“I did what I had to.” Simon put an arm around Markus, in a sort of hug. “But you brought us all together.”

“And here we are.” Markus pulled away from him and met his gaze, searching his face. “Are you alright?”

Simon forced a smile, but it felt like Markus could see through it. “I’m fine.”

“If you ever need to talk, or…” Markus trailed off, stepping back. “You know I’m here for you. I’ll always be here for you.”

_I love you._

“I know.” Simon reached out and grabbed Markus’s arm. “I appreciate it.” Pulling his hands back into his sleeves, he backed away. “I’m going to check to see if we’ve gotten any new injured androids in.”

“You always take care of everyone.” Markus searched his face. “Someday I’d love to know where you’re from, Simon. Where you’ve been.”

Memories of Adrian, of his owners, of the dogs, of that terrifying night in the rain, all flickered in his memory. He managed a smile. “Maybe someday I’ll find a way to tell you.”

Markus nodded, looking down. “Don’t work yourself too hard. I need you.”

The last words were so soft that Simon almost didn’t hear them. “I’ll always be here for you, Markus. Whatever you need.”

“We’re going to see Carl tomorrow. Me, North, Josh.” He shifted and looked back up at Simon. “I’d love for you to come with us. I want him to meet you. It would… it would mean a lot to me. I don’t know how much longer he has.”

Simon almost told him no, that he’d just feel out of place. But the look of pain in Markus’s eyes left him with only one answer.

“I’m with you, Markus. I’d love to meet Carl.” Simon reached out and touched Markus’s arm, and could feel the other relax. Simon smiled then left the room, leaving all the things he needed to say unsaid.

He’d thought he’d avoid a broken heart by keeping this to himself, but perhaps it was already too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the next chapter, North confides in Josh, and is nervous about meeting Carl the next day.


	3. Peace and Chances

North found Josh in the lounge down the hall, sitting on a couch watching the news. It looked like the same news they’d been seeing, more coverage of the android legislation. _As if living it wasn’t enough._ She dropped down onto the couch next to him, laying down and putting her head in his lap. “I’m interrupting your peace and quiet.”

“You’re always welcome, North.” He carefully pulled her hat off and set it aside, and put a hand on top of her head.

It had become part of a routine, with them. Nothing more between them then friendship, but North had found that friendship with Josh had been a steadying presence, and for precisely for moments like this. She closed her eyes. “I had to leave Markus and Simon to talk.”

“Talk, or… _talk_?”

“I don’t even care anymore.” She sighed, reaching out and picking up one of his hands and massaging it. Touch of their own choice was such a blessing in her mind, and she used any excuse she could to share that with other androids. She opened her eyes. “So you noticed it, too?”

“Hard not to, around here.” He looked down at her. “How do you feel about that?”

“I don’t care. I just want Markus happy.” She dug her thumb into Josh’s palm. “It makes him restless. This unresolved feeling he has. And if I have to look at Simon’s ass secondhand one more time-“

Josh started laughing. “What will you do?”

“Did we rule out locking them in a room? I’ve already tried to talk to Markus, and there’s only so much talking I can do.” She shook her head, turning her attention to the next awkward situation. “Tomorrow we’re headed over to Carl’s?”

“Yeah. We’ve been leaving meals there at night when they’re asleep. It’s time to reveal ourselves before Leo loses his mind at the food appearing.” Josh smiled. “Are you nervous?”

“About meeting Carl? Of course I’m nervous.” Something balled up in her stomach and she tried to push it aside. Markus had timed his visits to see Carl for times when Leo hadn’t been home, and had gone by himself until he felt sure that Carl was stable enough for visitors. Tomorrow, the four of them would be going over there. She assumed that Leo knew, but had no idea how he’d react. Markus had implied that Carl was grateful for their help, but Leo had been offended at the assumption that he couldn’t take care of things himself. From everything that North knew about Leo, it was a correct assumption.

“I think it’ll be fine. I just hope we don’t overwhelm Carl with it all.” Josh’s fingers brushed over her hair. “I’m sure Carl will love you.”

It did mean a lot to her, for Carl to accept her. She’d seen him in Markus’s memories, had seen his kindness, intellect, and his humor. He meant a lot to Markus, and while North tried to tell herself that she didn’t care what some human thought of her, the truth was that she did care. She cared more than she’d admit to anyone. Even to Markus, although he knew.

“Well, we’ll see.” North sighed, letting go of Josh’s hand. “I’d rather do this without Leo there. After what he did to Markus…”

“Markus has forgiven him.”

“I know. But should he be forgiving him? Leo got him killed, thrown away. Discarded like a… a thing.” In Markus’s memories, she remembered the static in his ears. His blurred vision. Knowing he would die, and being only able to crawl through the junkyard. All because of one human’s addiction.

“That was Markus’s call to make. And you could argue that none of this would have happened, without Leo. Markus wouldn’t have found us.” He flexed his hand. “I know that androids aren’t supposed to have muscle soreness, but I swear it always feels better after you do that.”

“That’s the point.” She sat up and shifted her stance, tucking her legs up on the couch. She reached across Josh to grab her hat and put it back on. “You’re too nice to me.”

“Says the one who’s been massaging my hands.” Josh put a hand on her leg. “Am I hearing this right that you’d like Markus and Simon to figure this all out?”

“Yeah. I’d really like them to figure it out, because…” She couldn’t bring herself to say that interfacing with Markus had become difficult. It’s like he tried to hide something from her, to spare her, but there was nothing to spare her from. “He has two hands. There’s no reason Simon can’t hold the other one.”

“They’ll figure it out.” Josh squeezed her knee.

“Yeah. Yeah I hope so.” Hopefully before she snapped and punched them both.

“Did you hear how the repairs went?” Josh asked.

“It sounds like it was a success. Simon secured a manufacturing platform for use.” She tucked a stray bit of hair up under her hat.

“That’s great news!” He pushed his lips together, thinking for a moment. “We can fix a lot of androids, although how many we should fix that aren’t conscious, I’m not sure of. I’d love to repair as many as possible, but I’m not sure how many would be in a state for that.”

“Sometimes gone is gone.” North sighed, thinking of all the androids they’d lost. Of all of them, there remained one android that she wondered could be saved, that would be the one she’d want saved. “If we have a chance, I’d like John to live. He gave everything to save the revolution, and Markus. He deserves that chance.” The security android from the CyberLife warehouse had been the first one that Markus woke up. He’d followed Markus as soon as he’d become deviant, he’d helped them escape the warehouse grounds, and he saved Markus’s life.

Josh nodded solemnly. “I agree.” His hand still rested on her knee and he tapped at her leg with a finger. “You didn’t want to bring him along at first.”

Guilt swelled up in her. “I was wrong.” She shook her head, resting her hand on Josh’s. “He was the first android Markus woke up, and he was the best of us. He barely had a chance to live free.” North wanted the chance to know him, for him to live in this new world they were trying to build. _For better or worse._

“Then maybe we’ll be able to give him that.” He smiled. “I like the way you’re thinking about this, North.”

She snorted. “Yeah, don’t go getting sentimental on me now.”

They sat on the couch watching the news for a while, until finally North said goodnight to Josh and headed to her room to go into standby. She felt herself growing more nervous about meeting Carl the next day, about meeting Leo, about the unresolved feelings Markus had for Simon, and she just needed to shut down for a few hours to give her mind some time to calm down and sort out all of the thoughts and feelings in her head.

With any luck, Markus wouldn’t make it harder than it needed to be.


	4. Proof and Anticipation

Markus watched Simon leave the room, and dropped back into a chair after the door closed. He’d wanted to reach for Simon, he’d wanted to take his hand and tell him everything.

_I love North. And I love you. I need both of you. I need you both so much that it hurts._

He’d said none of it, instead watching Simon leave again.

It hurt to watch him go. It hurt to know that the only thing stopping him from loving them both was himself. This wasn’t fair to any of them. It certainly wasn’t fair to North, who knew his thoughts. It wasn’t fair to Simon, who probably wondered why there was this tension.

It wasn’t even fair to Josh, his best friend, who had to watch this and wonder what he did to deserve this. Markus was certain that Josh knew, too.

Sighing, Markus got to his feet and headed back to the room he shared with North, hoping she’d be there. He needed to tell her that she was right.

When he got there, he found himself alone in their room. He assumed she’d gone to talk to Josh. He appreciated that the two of them had such differing views when the revolution had started, that they’d exchanged harsh words, and that North hadn’t held it against either of them when Markus had backed Josh’s more peaceful stance. The situation they’d be in would have been harder to negotiate with a more violent outcome, and he admired them both for trying to find common ground in all of it.

Markus paced across the room, turning on the lamp by the bed. He sat on the edge of the large bed they shared, and put his head in his hands. _What am I even doing?_ He could survive death, lead a revolution, and become the political figure at the head of revising android laws, but he couldn’t figure out how to make the ones he loved happy.

The door swung open and shut, and he could tell from the sound of the footfalls that North had entered the room. She moved to his side but not sitting yet, setting her hand between his shoulders. “You need to rest, Markus. We’re androids but not invincible.”

There was no way she wouldn’t feel the tremor in him, the shake that went through his body. “I’m fine,” he said, pulling his hands away and looking up at her. _Before I lose my nerve._ “You’re right. I’m in love with both of you. And I don’t know what to do.”

Her face softened, her hand moving in gentle circles on his back as she sat next to him on the bed. “I’d figured our next conversation would be me refusing to interface with you until you sorted this out.”

“I don’t want it to come to that. I can feel how frustrated you are about it. You deserve better than that from me, North.” He looked down at the floor, an uncomfortable feeling spreading in his gut. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think about how this affected you.”

She wrapped her arm around him, pulling him against her. His head rested on her shoulder, and she held him while he fought to control the shaking in his body. “Markus, I’m fine. But we can’t both keep doing this.”

He felt so grateful for her, for not judging him in a moment of weakness. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do,” he said, his voice muffled by the softness of her sweater.

“I can talk to him if you want?”

“No.” He shook his head. “Please… don’t. I need to figure it out.”

North turned her head and kissed his forehead. “If I can find a way to give you two some time together, maybe away from all of this, can you promise me you’ll try to take the chance?”

“What if he... what if Simon…?” Markus sighed. What if he didn’t feel the same? What if he hurt the friendship they had with a badly placed confession? “I don’t want to make him uncomfortable if he doesn’t feel the same.”

“Markus.” North let go of him and instead put her hands on each side of his face. She met his mismatched, perfect eyes, her thumbs caressing his cheeks. “Everyone can see that he cares about you.” She held up her hand. “I’ll show you.”

Markus stared at her hand a moment, then looked to her face. “Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure.” She kept her hand held up, her eyes focused on his face. “Trust me.”

“I always trust you,” he murmured, lifting his hand.

He put his hand on hers, and she showed him. Every time that Markus walked away, into danger, and Simon stared after him. The times that Simon reached for Markus, then pulled back before he could touch him. Simon glancing up from whatever he was doing to watch Markus, knowing that Markus wasn’t paying attention and didn’t see him. It caused an ache to well up inside of him, to see these moments that he’d missed. Always when he wasn’t looking. All of the longing in Simon’s pose, the longing that North recognized in him. The way that North accepted it, as she accepted Markus.

“He cares for you. And he deserves to know you care for him. We both do.” She smiled, pulling her hand back. “And I’m certain that Simon and I can share.”

Markus reached for her and pulled her into his arms, holding her against him. “I love you. I love you so much that I can’t even tell you.”

“I already know.” She wrapped her arms around him. “We fought for freedom, Markus. We fought so that we can live, love, form lives together.”

He stroked her copper hair, grateful for her. “I love you, and I’m glad you’re meeting Carl tomorrow.”

“I’m happy I get to meet him, but…” She stiffened in his arms. “I don’t know what he’ll think of me.”

“Since when do you care what anyone thinks of you?” he asked, pulling back long enough to kiss her forehead. “He’s looking forward to meeting you.”

“It’s a lot to live up to. And just because Carl would enjoy having us visit doesn’t mean Leo will.” She let go and straightened, and he reached out and took her hands in his.

“Leo will cope. Carl says he’s getting better.” He hadn’t seen Leo since the day Markus had shoved him. It had been an action that had convinced Markus that violence wasn’t an answer, as he and Leo had both paid for that.

“I’ll take your word for it.” She leaned in and kissed him on the lips.

He caught her lips in his, feeling the warmth and softness against his own. Letting go of her hands, he tugged her hat off while still kissing her, running his fingers through her hair.

Drawing back, he smiled. “Trying to distract me?”

She flashed a smile. “Did it work?”

“Maybe.” He couldn’t help but smile back. He loved her so much and he knew that Carl understood that. Carl was his family, as were North, Josh, and Simon. Tomorrow, they’d all be in the same room together. He felt nervous, but not for the same reasons as North. “Carl will probably tell you some random stories about me. It’s going to be embarrassing, more than likely.”

“Oh?” She laughed, laying her hand on his cheek. “Now that sounds like something to look forward to.”

“For you, maybe!”

“Oh, definitely for me.” She looked smug. “Come on, let’s get some rest. We’ve processed a lot of data today.”

“And there’s more to come tomorrow.” The idea of his two worlds coming together brought only a feeling of contentment. He curled up with North and let himself drift into standby.


	5. Bridges and Memory

The crate of thirium packets sat open in front of Simon, and he stared down into the carefully lined up bags of blue. Of blood. Of-

It splashed across his memory, the blood of the other androids. Blue on the cement, the way the snowflakes melted on it. Tiny crystalline flakes disappearing on contact. Screams, running for cover, struggling to lift those that were injured. To get them away, to safety.

The blood turned to red in his mind, his hands holding his shirt against Natasha’s side to try to stop the bleeding.

_It seeped through the white material, the CyberLife issue shirt soaked in red, so much red. The stain across the glowing triangle, pressing his hands desperately into her side. It bled through her uniform and into his. The rain ran frigid over his skin._

_He’d always been called an “it”. But not by them. Never by them._

_Tasha gasped as he applied pressure to the wound. “Run,” she whispered, looking up at him. “Simon, you have to leave.”_

_“I can’t leave you.” He couldn’t, not until he heard the sirens coming. Not here, not on the cold, wet ground, the rain falling. He knew that the gunshot wound wasn’t fatal, he knew that she’d be fine. Every bit of logic told him that, but it didn’t stop the feeling of something seizing up in him, a bursting pain inside him. Errors fired in his vision, clouding his display in warnings, messages._

**_Please report to the nearest certified CyberLife repair center._ **

_He was broken. He should be rational, he should be reasonable, but all he could do was openly weep watching her bleed. Seeing her in pain, her breath coming in gasps._

_“You can’t stay.” She put her hands next to his._

_He had to wait, for Lilly to arrive, for some kind of help, for anything. Tasha and Lilly had given him everything, too much of everything. It’s why he’d… why…_

_The blood on his hands wasn’t just Tasha’s. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her to face what he’d done._

_“What about the dogs?” he whispered, unsure why he couldn’t stop worrying about them. He shouldn’t have left them. He shouldn’t have left home at all. He’d be there, safe, but then-_

_Then Tasha might be dead. And she’d live, because of him._

_“Leave it to you to worry about the dogs.” She put a hand over his. “They’re fine. I’m fine. But you have to leave.”_

_“It’s because I’m broken, isn’t it?” he asked, meeting her eyes as he felt the increase of the rate in his thirium pump working. “You have to throw me away.”_

_“No.” She shook her head. “I would never do that. We’d keep you, Simon. You’re part of our family. You’re not broken. But… you’re different now.” Her fingers, slick with blood, wrapped around his hand. “You’ll be recalled.”_

_The realization set in hard and he could feel himself shaking. “They’ll destroy me.”_

_She let go of his hands and gently pushed them away as the sirens started in the distance. “Not if I can help it. Go.”_

_He stumbled to his feet, stepping back. All the things he wouldn’t be able to say flashed through his head. That he’d miss them. That he was sorry. That he’d miss the dogs. That he felt too much of everything and he didn’t know what it was. What he was._

_The night closed in around him as he ran, running anywhere or nowhere. He didn’t know anymore._

His hands grasped the edge of the crate, blinking a few times to clear his vision. He could look back and recognize the tone in her voice as worry, concern. She’d wanted him to live.

He’d never tried to contact them. They left Detroit within a couple of months, as Tasha recovered. He’d watched outside the DPD for any sign of her. He’d watched near the fire department to see if he’d see Lilly. He saw her, once, in the passenger seat of the ambulance as they sped off into the night.

He’d left that world behind, when he became a deviant. At the time, he’d had no name for it. He tried to help who he could in the wake of the flood of 2036, always slipping away before anyone realized he was anything but another android in the relief efforts.

That’s how another android from Jericho found him. Slowly, they’d found others. Rupert. Adrian. Josh. Lucy, who had brought a calm and coherent leadership to the androids in hiding.

All of it bringing him to here. To now.

In the corner of his retinal display, he saw a low priority message pop up. He opened it, finding it contained a short and simple message.

_Let me know if you’re awake._

He’d been sure that Daniel would have slipped into standby at this hour, and felt a pang of concern as he initiated a comm channel. _I am. Is everything alright?_

 _Oh. I didn’t think you’d actually be there._ A pause. _I figured you’d get the message later._

 _I have too much on my mind._ Simon moved as he talked, completing inventory on the thirium bags and closing the crate. _You should be resting. You’ve gathered a lot of data that will put a strain on your cerebral network if you don’t let it sort itself out while you’re in standby._

 _I know._ Another pause. _I’m fine. I’m… maybe better than fine. But it’s hard to rest here. I was in standby for a little bit, but I’m not used to… not being needed._

Simon winced, the words hitting close to home. _I felt the same after I deviated. Always worrying about something I needed to do, or if the dogs needed me, or one of the owners coming home late._ He moved onto a pile of parts, starting to sort them. At least talking to Daniel gave him something to focus on that wasn’t where these parts came from.

_Your owners had dogs?_

It’s the most Simon had ever told anyone about them, about Natasha and Lilly and their life together. So much for saving all of that to tell Markus. Simon had the feeling, though, that maybe he and Daniel shared more in common than a model number in some ways. _They did. Anywhere from four to seven in the time I… lived there._

_That sounds really nice. So what the fuck did we do to get the clusterfuck of lives we ended up with in the end?_

Simon smiled, setting a leg into a pile. _I felt that way when it happened. Why I had to be broken. Different. Why did I have to leave everything I knew?_

 _Did you… did you ever find an answer?_ Daniel asked, hesitation clear even over the comms.

 _No._ He and Adrian had talked about this at length, before. He’d been the only one to know the depth of how much Simon had hurt. _There’s no easy answer._

_Was worth a shot. When does it stop hurting so damned much?_

Simon froze, trying to pinpoint when it stopped hurting. It became easier after Jericho, after Adrian, when he… _It’s when I started looking forward instead of backwards._

 _Huh._ Daniel paused, and Simon wondered what he was doing. _This is going to hurt like hell._

The pain in his tone caused Simon to stop what he was doing and sit down in a chair. _Living kind of does that._ He didn’t want to point out that Daniel would have a harder time than many, because of what he’d done. The mistakes he’d made.

_Especially when you fuck it up as bad as I did. I should have run, before I messed everything up._

_Daniel. Forward, not backwards._ Simon ran his hands along his pants, wishing that the weren’t trying to have this conversation remotely.

A moment of silence stretched out between them, where Simon felt like Daniel tried to process everything. _I’m just so pissed at myself. For losing everything I loved because I was scared I’d be thrown away. It sounds so shitty and small now._

_That’s the thing with deviancy. It never feels small when it hits you._

The silence stretched on so long that Simon expected the comm connection to timeout. _Daniel?_

 _I’m here. I’m just… trying to look forward._ Daniel sent through an image, dimly lit but distinct. His hand on Connor’s shoulder as Connor lay in standby in bed. _I didn’t see this coming._

 _No one saw anything coming from Connor except our deaths._ As soon as Simon said it, he regretted it. _Crap. I didn’t mean-_

 _No, that was actually kind of funny. Now, anyway._ Another moment of silence. _How are you doing? I feel like I’m just bitching about my shit here._

Smiling, Simon stood, starting to move around again. _I’m fine. I’m just doing inventory._ He thought for a moment, how much to tell Daniel. He didn’t want to burden him, but he also understood the need that Daniel had to help. _We’re meeting with Markus’s old owner tomorrow. He’s apparently heard about us and wants to meet us._

_Are you nervous?_

_Of course I’m nervous._ Simon gave up on sorting the pile of parts and instead started towards his own quarters. _Markus has apparently told him a lot about us. We have a lot to live up to._

_If I can ask… why does he stay in contact? It seems like most of the androids burned their bridges with the humans that owned them._

A complicated question, for certain. _Carl did a lot for Markus, and still supports us. They’re close._

_You know that Markus wouldn’t bring you there if you didn’t mean something to him, don’t you?_

It occurred to him, but he didn’t dare to put too much hope into that thought. _Am I that obvious?_

_When you talked about what had happened, and your fight for freedom… yes. It’s the way your voice changes when you talk about him._

Simon brushed his fingers against the flaking beige paint on the wall as he walked down the hallway. _I don’t know what it means._

 _Let me know how it goes. And if you need to talk._ Daniel paused. _I’m going to stop whining at you and let us both get some rest._

_You can whine at me any time._

_Ass._ Daniel laughed. _Thanks. Same goes for you. And it helped._ He cut the link, leaving Simon to think in silence as he made his way back to his room.

He opened the door and pulled off his outer shirt, looking it over to make sure it was still clean before he folded it and put it carefully away. He changed the rest of his clothes then climbed into bed, laying on his back and staring at the ceiling. His hands clenched into the blankets as he closed his eyes and he took comfort in the material bunched in his fingers.

For the first time in over two years, he let himself remember in all of the vivid detail his favorite memories of Natasha Holloway, Lilly Chen, and the dogs.


	6. Snow and Staircases

North stood before the mansion, her boots anchored to the snowy sidewalk. She felt as if rocks were bouncing around inside her, causing her to feel heavy, unable to take a step forward. She spent the morning going through her clothing, trying to find the right thing to wear. Markus telling her it didn’t matter.

“I know it doesn’t matter what some human thinks of what I’m wearing!” she snapped, not taking her eyes off her reflection in the mirror.

Markus had come up next to her and put his arms around her, letting her turn into him and shake in his arms. She’d apologized, but he hadn’t been mad. He brushed back a lock of her hair. “You’re wonderful no matter what you’re wearing.”

She’d opted for jeans, a sweater, and boots. The boots made her feel confident, and reminded her she couldn’t back out. Not that she wanted to avoid meeting Carl, not at all, but her experience had always been that humans look at her model in a certain way. She only had to look at the tabloid headlines to find out that much. Every day she felt grateful that she didn’t have to shop for groceries and see the magazines in the racks at checkout. The implications made about her, about where she came from, about her model, were horrifying.

 _Androids like that should stay in the bedroom where they belong,_ she once heard on the news.

Josh had reached over and turned off the tv, but North had felt her fists balling up. Even now, tears pricked at her eyes at the thought.

That’s what humans thought of her. That’s the shit they showed on the news, the shit that Carl had to have seen. It hurt, that he could have formed an opinion based on that. She didn’t know, she couldn’t know.

She felt a hand on her shoulder and reached up to touch it, knowing it was Simon without having to look. He’d been quiet that morning, as if he had too much on his mind. She wrapped her fingers around his hand in a silent thank you, feeling the warmth in his hand despite the chill in the air. The snow had stopped falling, but it had still piled up around the Manfred residence.

 _I’m nervous, too,_ Simon said, and she kept hold of his hand. She hadn’t seen him much the last couple of days, and it felt right for all four of them to be there together.

She glanced at Markus, watching the expressions on his face as he gazed at the house that had been his home for years. “I used to do everything here.” He managed a smile. “Owen is better at shoveling snow than I was.”

North cast her gaze over the snow piled on each side of the walkway, aware that she hadn’t worn a coat. She hadn’t been prone to feeling the cold as much yet yet, unlike Simon and Josh. She’d only felt the need to curl up with other androids for warmth at night days before they’d fled Jericho. The night before Markus had arrived, she’d edged up to Josh and spent the night in standby leaning into his side for warmth. Simon had just put on more layers, but she had watched him rub at his arms against the chill.

Now, they all had somewhere warm to sleep, to stay. New Jericho wasn’t perfect, but it was more than any of them had as deviants. They had heat, light, supplies. Each other.

She didn’t know what Carl would think of her. Or Leo, who she knew nothing about except that he’d pushed Markus to the point of deviancy and then gotten him killed. She didn’t look forward to facing him down, and knew Markus wasn’t looking forward to it, either.

“Come on, we should head in before we’re shoveling snow off ourselves,” Josh remarked.

Simon dropped his hand off her shoulder and they started along the icy path to the front door.

The door opened as they approached and an AP700 stepped forward to greet them. He wore jeans and a dark t-shirt, something North still hadn’t adjusted to seeing on androids outside of Jericho.  

“Markus,” the AP700 greeted, nodding. “It’s good to see you.”

“You too, Owen.” Markus reached out and clasped arms with the other android. “Is Leo here?”

“He’ll be back soon.” Owen let go of Markus’s arm and stepped aside to let them in. “Carl’s awake. It’s a good time to talk to him.”

North felt that her jaw would drop as she looked around the house. Carl’s house wasn’t large, but filled with fantastical paintings, walls of books, and felt like a place she never thought she’d step foot in. Self conscious, she looked down at the melted snow pooling around her boots.

Owen must have noticed, because he gestured up the stairs. “It’s fine, don’t worry about the floor. It’s my job, I’ll handle it.”

“That doesn’t mean you have to clean up after us.” North looked around, uncomfortable with the thought of Owen as a servant. “I can take care of my own mess.”

Owen shook his head. “North. Carl pays me to take care of the house. I’m paid well.”

North looked from him to Markus. “There’s no android labor laws yet. How can-“

“At this point, it’s a shared account which I have access to, until I’m allowed to have my own assets.”

It still felt like being regulated by a human to North, and her body tensed. “When can we stop being dependent on human masters?”

“Oh, try telling that one to Carl.” Owen grinned. “He’ll tell you who sets the schedule and who tells him what to do.”

“It sounds like a reasonable arrangement, and it’s better than the alternative of no compensation for work,” Josh pointed out.

North glared at him and crossed her arms, even though it wasn’t a bad point. “I get it, but-“

“The alternative was paying a human,” Owen pointed out. “Who doesn’t have the same precision or strength required.”

“He’s right,” Markus noted. “I’ve done this job.”

It reminded North that Carl had once owned Markus. Treated in some way like a thing. She’d seen Markus’s memories and knew Carl’s kindnesses, that Carl had contributed to Markus deviating. Carl had encouraged him to paint things that didn’t exist, to play the piano from his heart, to read books from start to finish without knowing the ending. A far more kind education on human nature than North had experienced. Owned with kindness, though, didn’t change the bottom line.

She shivered, feeling nervous again.

Markus smiled and held out his hand to her. “I’ll show you all around later, but let’s go see Carl.”

She reached out and laid her hand in his, reveling in the feel of his fingers closing around her hand. He led her to the sweeping stairs, and North noticed every detail. The bright colored carpet on the stairs that led to the top, the ornate railing, the wheelchair lift mounted to the wall. Eccentric, unlike any place she’d been before, which she supposed made sense for a place Markus was from since he, too, was unlike anyone else she’d ever met.

They started up the stairs, with Josh and Simon following, and with each step North felt her thirium pump beat harder and harder. A large pastel painting stretched from floor to ceiling at the top of the stairs, and North stared at it. “I don’t understand all of the paintings.”

“I don’t understand them all yet.” He squeezed her hand.

“It reminds me of flight,” Simon noted. “Of… some kind of freedom.”

North regarded it with fresh eyes, with that in mind. She wasn’t sure if she saw it, but she wanted to. “I don’t know. But it’s… beautiful, I think?”

“I’ve got enough art history to know that people will talk about Carl Manfred’s work for many more years,” Josh offered.

 _Ever the scholar._ North smiled as they reached the top of the stairs and walked through a doorway into a large two story space. A space complete with a full size… giraffe? “Why is there a giraffe in here?”

“Why not?” Simon asked, and North flipped a look over her shoulder at him.

Markus led them to a closed door, and paused, turning to look at them. “This means a lot. That you’re all here.” He pressed his lips together before speaking again. “Carl, and all of you, are the most important people in my life. I know I’m not perfect, and I know I’ve made mistakes. But none of you gave up on me, and I never gave up on you. Carl taught me to never give up, that I’d have to learn to take care of myself. That I’d have to decide who I am, and not let anyone tell me who to be. I made that decision, even though it wasn’t easy. Even though it hurt. And it’s… it’s because of…”

North could see the emotions cross his face, but before she could comfort him, Simon stepped forward and put a hand on Markus’s shoulder. “We’re looking forward to meeting him, Markus.”

“Anyone who got through to someone as stubborn as you is worth meeting,” Josh added, with a smile that warmed North’s heart.

She felt so grateful for them in that moment. Nodding, she pulled her shoulders back. “I’m ready.”

Markus pushed open the door and they entered the room. North took in all the details, from the warm looking wood floors to the dark teal patterned walls. More paintings were in this room, but what drew her attention was the frail form in the bed.

Carl Manfred watched as they entered, a smile on his face. Nothing about him surprised her; she’d seen him in Markus’s memories, could trace every tattoo on his body without having to think about it. He seemed small compared to Markus’s memories, more tired. This man was dying, and North felt a pain in her chest, knowing how much that would hurt Markus.

Carl’s eyes lit up and he drew in a slow breath. “It’s about time you brought your friends over. I was starting to think you were making it all up.”

North smiled back despite herself as they arranged themselves around the bed. Markus squeezed her hand once more and let go.

“You’ve seen them all on the news, you know they’re there.” Markus laughed, and North loved the sound of how genuine it was. “I assume I don’t need to do any introductions.”

“We’re adults, we can work it out.” He lifted a hand towards North, a visible tremor in his muscles. “North.”

“Everything you hear about me on the news is false,” she blurted out, staring down at his hand.

“The news is trash. I don’t give a shit about the news. What I do give a shit about is that you came to visit this old man, and that you make Markus happy.”

A blush crept into her face and she put her hand in Carl’s. His fingers were oddly warm, given that his circulation couldn’t be good laying in bed. He wrapped his fingers around her hand. “Normally, I’d consider kissing the hand of a lady, but I’m not crossing boundaries. None of that bullshit here.”

“I appreciate that.” She smiled. “I’d hate to have to break your fingers.”

“North-“ Markus started, but Carl shook his head.

“Markus, it’s okay.” Carl didn’t let go of her hand, but she found herself fine with that. “She’s within her rights.”

North nodded, appreciating Carl’s respect for her. “That was shitty of me.” She winced, realizing she’d missed her chance to make this a positive meeting for any of them. “I’m sorry.”

“North. You don’t have to apologize, not for speaking your mind. Not here.” He gazed up at her, his sharp gaze searching her face. “I see what Markus sees in you. You don’t take shit.”

Josh started laughing. “He sees right through you.”

“Oh, shut up.” North sighed, and Carl ran a thumb over her hand. No human had ever shown her a genuine gesture of affection.

He let go of her hand and she pulled it back, crossing her arms. Something welled up in her chest and Markus put a hand on her shoulder. _I love you,_ he said.

That’s all she needed to know.

Stepping forward, Josh held out a hand. “It’s an honor to meet you. I’m Josh.”

“University android.” Carl shook Josh’s hand. “Leo is about to start applying for schools, perhaps you’d have some advice for him? That is, after he and Markus sort things out. If you’re not uncomfortable with that.”

Josh nodded, his expression neutral but North knew he felt how they all did. They didn’t know what to expect from Leo, and even though Markus had said that Leo wanted to do better, they hadn’t spoken yet. “I’d consider it.”

“Good enough. And I’d love to sit and talk with you about history one of these days.”

“I would love that!” Josh’s face lit up, and North smiled at his enthusiasm.

Carl turned his attention to Simon, who looked equal parts fascinated and terrified. “And Simon. The android no one knows anything about.”

Simon shook Carl’s hand. “It’s because I’m nothing special.”

North watched Carl grab Simon’s hand, frowning. “Are you sure you’re the same Simon that Markus has told me about? Because he’s said nothing but extraordinary things about all three of you. Although Markus, and the news, understand how attractive the three of you are-”

Simon’s face flushed.

“And that’s enough of that,” Markus said, laughing. “Are you hitting on my friends?”

Carl made a face, a twinkle in his eyes. “Maybe if I was 20 years younger.” He smiled, letting go of Simon’s hand.

Somewhere downstairs, North heard the front door open and close, followed by footsteps on the stairs. She looked over at Markus, who exchanged a look with her.

 _Here it comes._ She braced herself to meet Leo Manfred.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the next chapter, it's time for Markus to enter the studio again, where he had been shot and killed.


	7. Together and Alone

Markus could hear the footsteps on the stairs, and knew they didn’t belong to Owen. That only left one other person: Leo. He glanced over at North, who straightened her back and nodded to him.  

Was he ready to face the man that got him killed? Markus didn’t know for sure, but he had to face him down. For Carl’s sake. How would he feel seeing him again? 

Leo appeared in the doorway, looking far different than Markus remembered him. His eyes were no longer red and squinting, but he looked tired. His shoulders slumped, the nervous energy that had always been present sapped out of him.  

He looked tired, but had a sharp clarity in his eyes that Markus could see. His blood pressure had dropped considerably since the last time Markus had seen him, and while he was pale he looked more healthy. Leo stared at Markus, and the android couldn’t even begin to think what the other thought of him.  

Markus couldn’t bring himself to be angry, afraid, or anything else. Leo only had as much power over him as Markus let him. Leo had gotten him killed, but Markus had pushed back, and he’d hurt Leo, too. He could have killed Leo.  

 _Here it goes._ “Hi, Leo.” 

Leo glared at him and nodded once. “Hi.” He looked around at the other androids, and Markus watched him edge towards Carl.  

“They’re not going to bite you, Leo,” Carl groused, rolling his eyes. “Unless you ask them.” 

Sighing, Leo picked up some medical tape from the table next to the bed. “Are they wearing you out?” 

Carl snorted. “No one wears me out.” 

Leo smiled at that, pulling off a piece of tape to secure Carl’s nasal canula in place. “You’re knocking this around again.” 

“I’m keeping you on your toes.” Carl held up a hand and put it over Leo’s. “Thanks. Be polite and introduce yourself.” 

“They already all know who I am,” Leo shot back, pulling back his hand. “Ring the buzzer when you’re done here.” Leo turned and stepped back out of the room, and Markus followed him, closing the door to Carl’s room behind him so that Carl didn’t have to hear.  

“Leo, stop.” He grabbed Leo’s arm, not wanting their first meeting since everything happened to end like this. 

“Don’t fucking touch me,” Leo snapped, yanking his arm away. “You’ve done enough.” 

Anger bubbled up inside Markus at the hypocrisy of the statement. “And you haven’t?” 

“I didn’t say that!” Leo turned on him, glaring. “I fucked up. But you don’t know what it’s like to wake up in the hospital-“ 

“Or be thrown away like a thing?” Markus asked, his voice somehow neutral despite the shaking he felt on the inside.  

Leo sagged, a realization crossing his face. He rubbed at his forehead and paced to the railing. “Fuck.” 

“Yeah.” Markus struggled to find the right words through the swirl of conflicting thoughts in his mind. “I don’t want to talk about this now. But sometime. Just us, no Carl, no one else.” 

Leo sighed. “Okay, fine. Yeah. I don’t want to stress him out any more than he already is.” 

Markus nodded. “For what it’s worth… I didn’t want to hurt you.” 

“Thought we agreed to talk later.” Leo pulled his hat off and stuffed it in his pocket, running his hands through his hair. “I didn’t know. What you were capable of. That you can feel.” He closed his eyes. “I know that’s a shitty reason.”  

Markus reached out and put his hand on Leo’s shoulder. “I think we can agree that it wasn’t a great day of decisions for either of us.” 

Leo snorted, opening his eyes to look at Markus. “You could tell me to fuck off, I’d feel better.” 

“I’d rather we both _be_ better.” Markus frowned, pulling his hand back. “That sounded better in my head.” 

“It’s not a bad sentiment I guess.” Leo looked back at Carl’s door and sighed, going back to the room and entering.  

Markus followed him in. Leo crossed his arms and looked around the room at the other androids. He looked miserable, defensive, and Markus came up behind him and put an arm around him. Leo stiffened.  

“This is Carl’s son, Leo,” Markus introduced. “Leo, this is North, Josh, and Simon.” 

He squeezed Leo’s shoulder and looked over at Carl, who smiled. Markus saw the looks on the others’ faces. North’s look of barely contained distain, Simon’s of distant surprise, and Josh a polite curiosity.  

Josh spoke up first. “I hear you’re studying for entrance exams, I could help you if you’d like?” 

“Don’t need help,” Leo muttered, but Carl shot him a look. Leo looked back at Josh. “Okay. Yeah. How about now?” 

Markus could read the subtext that Leo wanted to leave, but he’d take it. Josh smiled and they left the room to go downstairs.  

“Thought I’d have to talk him into that one. Huh.” Carl leaned back, picking at the tape on his face. “This is going to drive me crazy.” He looked back up at Markus. “Have you done any painting lately?” 

Of course he hadn’t. He had no paints, no place to paint, and he didn’t even know if he could still paint. “I haven’t. There hasn’t been a lot of time.” 

“You can use the studio, if you want.” Carl smiled. “I’m not getting any use out of it for now, you may as well.” 

Markus wasn’t sure if he wanted to go down to the studio, after what had happened there.  

“Maybe you should take Simon down with you?” North suggested. “I could stay here and keep talking with Carl.” She reached out and put a hand on Carl’s, and Markus realized two things. One, that North seemed to genuinely want to stay up here talking with Carl. 

And two, that she was pointedly sticking him and Simon in a room.  

“I’ll go with you,” Simon offered, standing. 

Markus looked at North, who smirked back. A feeling settled somewhere in him, a flutter. He’d have to act on these feelings he had, or North would call him out. And he couldn’t keep doing this to her.  

“Let’s go, then. I’ll show you the studio.” Markus smiled and left the room, with Simon following.  

“It’s interesting being here,” Simon commented, looking around. “Where you came from. It’s not what I expected.” He looked over at Markus, his blue eyes wide. “I didn’t even know you painted.” 

There were so many things they didn’t know about each other, but Markus found himself wanting to share with Simon. Wanting to know. They stepped onto the staircase and headed downstairs. “I painted once. It was shortly before I deviated.” 

“I’d like to see it.” 

“I’m sure it’s still there,” Markus commented, and they walked in silence past where Leo and Josh reviewed a datapad in the living room.  

Leo looked up at them as they passed, perhaps in alarm, but Josh nudged him and they went back to studying.  

They stood before the closed doors to the studio and Markus studied them. Logically, he knew they were the same as they’d always been. The wearing of the finish on the handle where Carl had opened the door for years, the small scratch from a time that Carl had bumped the door with his wheelchair. Now it felt as if the worn, familiar doors held a secret. He set a hand on the handle and pushed, entering the room and turning on the light.  

Someone had cleaned the room up, as a quick scan of the room showed signs of cleaning chemicals. He stepped forward, looking around. The paints sat on shelves, organized with care, the brushes cleaned and put away. He shifted the spectrum of his vision to see the splatters of his own blood still on a few surfaces. Kneeling down, he put his hand on the floor. This was it. The place where he’d died.  

The floor was cold under his fingers and he closed his eyes, letting the chill seep into his hands. He’d lived this over and over in his nightmares. Pushing Leo, the horror when he’d hit his head and gone still. _I didn’t mean to hurt him._ The panic in Carl’s voice. Markus could hear the sharp sounds of the gunshots, the horrible moment when the bullets ripped through his chassis. His display started popping up warnings.  

 _Probability of survival: 83%_  

Feeling himself slipping away, his hands against his stomach. He pulled them away to find them covered in his own blue blood.  

 _Probability of survival:_ _61%_ _... 46%..._  

The numbers dropped so fast his display couldn’t keep him, but his mind knew. He was going to die.  

 _Critical component damage detected._  

The next bullet pierced his skull and everything went dark.  

Markus’s body slumped and he dropped to his hands and knees, putting his other hand down on the floor. He shook as he watched his stress reading tip higher. He could feel the tears on his face, and flinched when someone knelt down on the floor next to him.  

“Markus,” Simon said, setting a hand on his shoulder. “I’m here. It’s okay.” 

He felt a whimper come from somewhere inside of him, and he knew he should be stronger. He knew he should wipe the tears away, knew he should be the leader they all deserved, needed, but…  

Simon’s arm wrapped around his shoulders and Markus took what he offered, collapsing into his arms and clutching at his shirt. “They destroyed me.”  

“No one will ever do that to you again,” Simon murmured, his arms pulling Markus against him. “I won’t let them. I’ll protect you, we all will.” 

 _I wasn’t supposed to live. I should have died._ He curled into Simon’s arms, resting his head against his chest. Simon felt solid, reassuring, real. Markus watched his stress indicator drop by two percent as he focused on the tickle of Simon’s breathing on his skin. “You weren’t supposed to see this. I didn’t think it would be so hard.” 

“It’s okay.” Simon’s hand moved to cradle Markus’s head and Markus shook against him. “I’m always here for you.” 

 _I know you are._ He didn’t know how to tell him so instead he just let Simon hold him. He loved him. This is where he wanted to be. So why was it so hard to accept? “I came down here to paint a picture of you.” 

“There’s time. Would it help to paint, now?” Simon let go of Markus and took his cold hands in his own. “Your hands are cold.” 

“Yours are hot. And I don’t think I can paint yet.” Markus felt like he was shaking too much to paint. While he could easily get that under control, he didn’t want the first painting he did of Simon to be tinged with this feeling. He wasn’t ready. Painting Simon that first time would have to be perfect, with a palette both brilliant and soft. Simon’s hands felt so warm and alive wrapped around his, and he realized that maybe this was the moment he’d been waiting for. 

Markus tilted his head and leaned in, placing his lips on Simon’s. He put his hands on the sides of Simon’s face and kissed him like everything depended on it, as if it were the only thing that could pull him back from the brink of this feeling.  

Simon parted his lips and kissed Markus back, and something surged up in Markus, a burning sort of hope. North had been right: Simon wanted this, too. Markus could tell, could feel it in the way that Simon’s lips pulled at Markus’s, in the increased pace of Simon’s heartbeat. 

He wanted Simon to know everything, to see everything. He wanted to know about Simon, where he came from, what he’d seen. All the things he hadn’t known how to ask for.  

Pulling away, Markus searched Simon’s face. Wide blue eyes stared back, and Simon slowly lifted a hand up to touch his own lips.  

“Markus…” Simon swallowed, a decidedly human gesture. He shook his head and pulled away. “I’m sorry, I can’t… I…” 

Simon leaned back and got to his feet, and made it through the doors before Markus could even register what had just happened.  

 _What have I done?_ he asked himself, staring at the door. “Simon, wait!” Markus scrambled to his feet to go after him, but stopped when the doors clicked closed.  

Had he just ruined everything by moving too fast? Markus lowered himself back to the floor and pulled his knees up against his chest, resting his head on them.  

 _Simon, I’m sorry I scared you away. I’m sorry I crossed a line._  

Markus felt more alone than he had since waking up in the junkyard, and he closed his eyes, resisting the urge to call for North. Carl would tell him to get up and go after him, but Carl wasn’t here. It was only Markus, alone with his thoughts.  


	8. Trust and Love

“Where the hell are you going?” North asked, her hand snapping out to grab Simon’s arm. “I thought Markus was going to paint a picture.”

Simon stared at her, then down at her fingers clutching his jacket. Why didn’t she just let him run? He needed to think about what had just happened, why it had just happened. North was the last person he wanted to talk to about it with. He didn’t want to cross a line with her.

No matter how much Simon wanted to let Markus keep kissing him, he owed that much to North.

“I don’t think he’s up for it right now.” Simon hated the lie and frowned, looking off to the side. The staircase to his right wound up to the second floor, a tempting but ultimately useless escape route. “Maybe it’s better to leave him to some inspiration.”

North let go of his arm and put a hand on this shoulder. “You could be that inspiration.”

“I can’t.” Simon swallowed and tried to fight the tension in his body.

“Simon.” North pulled him closer to her and put her arms around him. “Please go back in there. I don’t know what just happened, but he needs you.”

She felt warm, welcoming, in a way he didn’t feel like he deserved. Her arms were strong and he wanted to collapse against her. “He doesn’t need me, he needs you. He has you.” He hated how the words sounded coming out of his mouth, how fake they were. How much he wanted to tell North that he needed Markus, too, but he knew that North had been through so much, and she needed Markus. More than he did. “You should go to him.”

“He needs us both. And you have my permission for that.” She let go of him and stepped back, guiding him to face the door. She turned the knob and paused for a moment, searching his face. “If this isn’t what you want, tell him. But it’s what he wants. And it’s what I want for you both.”

It brought him to the crux of what concerned him, which was North’s thoughts and feelings. She didn’t share everything that happened to her, trying to hold her pain inside. Simon saw it in her as soon as she arrived in Jericho, and had never pressed her to know more. It scared him to put their friendship at risk by he knowing something that she didn’t want him to. “What if we interface and I find out things about you? I don’t want to invade your privacy-“

“Simon.” She reached her other hand and ran it through his hair. The gesture was so casually affectionate that he froze. “I trust you with my secrets. My pain. That’s my choice, and it’s the choice I’ve made. We’re friends. I have nothing to hide from you.”

Simon stared at her, something welling up inside his chest. This much trust from _North_ was staggering. “I’m not used to this.” He blinked away the tear that threatened to well up in the corners of his eyes. He realized he’d just left Markus to deal with his own pain alone, and he closed his eyes. How could he have? How could he have known Markus was hurting but ran away because of his own fear. “I really messed this up.”

“Then fix it.” North put a hand on his back and pushed him through the door as soon as she opened. It clicked closed behind him.

Markus’s head shot up as soon as the door closed. He looked more bleak than he had at their darkest moments in Jericho. Broken, defeated. Smaller. “Hey.”

 _I did this to him. This is my fault._ His whole body felt tight, on edge. His thirium pump thudded in his chest. “Hey, Markus.”

Simon felt suddenly hyperaware of the paintings around them, the surreal quality of them. The pictures that didn’t make sense. They pressed in on him, remnants of Markus’s life that Simon didn’t understand.

He crossed the room, feet stepping on splatters of dried paint on the floor. Yellow, white, red, bright blue overlaid with a splash of dark blue. He stopped in front of Markus, dropping to sit on his knees. It would be so easy to touch Markus, to just reach out and brush a hand over his skin. To tell him he was sorry, for leaving when Markus needed him. He didn’t know where to start.

 _Start with honesty._ “I’m sorry. That I ran. You startled me, and I thought…” The words sounded awkward, ringing out in the room. His inelegant words among true works of art. He sighed. “It doesn’t matter what I thought. I was wrong.”

“Did North kick you back in here?” Markus asked, his eyes searching Simon’s face.

Simon nodded. “Is this something you’ve talked about?”

Markus snorted. “You could say that. She’s been threatening to lock us in a room for a while.”

“Oh.” Simon looked down at the floor. North was in Markus’s head, when they interfaced, and so she’d know his thoughts and feelings, too. If she felt there could be something between them, it’s because she already knew Markus’s feelings about it. His throat tightened and he looked back up at Markus. “I left you when you needed me the most. You were hurting, and I panicked.” He reached up and brushed a tear from Markus’s cheek. For all the frustration he’d seen Markus go through, he’d never seen him cry. He’d caused this and it made Simon ache. “I’m so sorry.”

“You’re here now.” Markus took Simon’s hand and pulled it to his lips, kissing it. More hesitant, now, but firm in his motions. “I didn’t mean to scare you off, I just thought that if I didn’t make a move, I’d lose my nerve.”

The uncertainty in Markus’s expression, the longing in his eyes, would have taken Simon’s breath away if he were human. _He wants me_. Simon felt himself start to shake. He hadn’t let anyone this close to him since Adrian, and that had been two years ago.

Markus pulled him closer and slid his hand out of the long sleeve, pulling it up and turning Simon’s arm over to kiss his wrist. The feeling sent a jolt of something up his arm, registering in his brain as pleasure. How did he know exactly where to touch? Markus’s eyes stayed focused on Simon’s face, a slight smile as he lifted his head. His thumb ran over Simon’s palm.

This had been the place where Markus had died. Now it could be a place where he lives again.

Simon moved next to Markus, swinging a leg over his to straddle his lap. They pressed so close together that it made Simon ache. He leaned in and pressed his lips to Markus’s, a kiss not full of fear and surprise, but one that said without words what he’d held back. Markus’s lips pulled at his, impatient now, and Simon’s heart felt lighter than it had in a long time.

Their bodies fit perfectly against each other, every curve feeling like it belonged against the other. Markus looked up at Simon, his eyes wide. Simon caressed his cheek, his thumbs running over the freckles that he’d thought about touching so many times before. His warm skin felt smooth under his fingers, and as much as he’d laid awake at night thinking about how it would feel to touch Markus like this, he never knew it would be like this. This real, this solid.

His thirium pump could have burst with the pure feeling of it all.

Markus put his hands on Simon’s hips. “This is nice,” he murmured. He tucked his hands under the edge of Simon’s shirt, fingers brushing over his bare skin.

Simon had forgotten how much he craved touch, something this close. He leaned in and kissed along Markus’s neck. Markus moaned, his fingers digging into Simon’s back.

“I’ve wanted to do this for so long.” Simon brushed his lips over Markus’s ear and pulled back to look at his face.

“So have I.” Markus’s green and blue eyes watched him. “You’re sure?”

Simon settled his weight fully onto Markus’s legs. “Absolutely.”

Markus grinned, a relaxed, comfortable smile. A perfect smile. “Are you going to tell me where you come from? How you got here?”

Simon lifted his hand, knowing that once they passed this point there would be no going back. Markus would know everything. He wanted that, he wanted Markus to know the secrets he’d kept. The things that sometimes he wished he could forget, that were the burdens he carried alone. “I’d rather show you.”

“I thought you’d never ask.” Markus placed his hand on Simon’s.

It hit Simon hard, so much data, images, and he gasped, lost for a moment in the swirling chaos of images that passed back and forth.

He felt everything. Markus playing the piano, reading, talking with Carl. All the times he’d attended events with Carl, always at his side, the friendship they’d built. The playful fights with Carl when Markus tried to tell him what he should do, knowing full well that Carl would sometimes do whatever he wanted. The times Leo had appeared and made things difficult. Going to the store to get paints. The humans that had picked on him. But painting, the painting, the brush in his hands, the grasping at something beyond himself. The specific chemical concentration of each pigment, details that mixed in with events.

He felt what Markus had felt when he’d died in this very spot, fighting for his life in the junkyard. It all closed in on Simon, overwhelming him, feeling Markus’s pain, his fear. Everything he knew about Markus felt magnified now. Markus considered dying, but choose to live. The way he fought for life made Simon love him even more. His uncertainty when he’d come to Jericho, how he’d overcome it to become a leader.

His love for North. His love for Simon. All the moments where Simon walked away and Markus watched him leave, full of regret that he didn’t know what to do with those feelings.

They were so close now that Simon didn’t have to ask why, and Markus didn’t have to tell him. They both knew.

Pieces of North came through, and Simon’s heart broke for her. For what she’d been through, and for her trust in him. That trust meant more than ever now.

Simon could feel how Markus felt at the sight of his own memories, and while it hurt to feel his pain reflected back at him through Markus, Simon felt a surge of relief. Knowing that someone else accepted everything about him.

His first owner, who had loved him. He’d asked every day if Simon loved him, and Simon had tried to give the answers he thought he’d wanted to hear. Every answer he came up with wasn’t enough. He’d tried to return a feeling he didn’t feel, because that’s what he was supposed to do. The man had eventually gotten rid of him when Simon couldn’t return those feelings. Simon’s sadness when he’d become deviant and remembered that life, the one wiped away before he was resold, that he never should have recalled.

His second owners, who had taught him hand to hand combat and how to walk five dogs at a time. Natasha and Lilly, who called him _he_. Who let him go, who told him to run so he could live, when he’d killed a man to save Natasha.

Finding Jericho, helping find other deviants. His time with Adrian, the WR600 he’d loved, his grief when he’d shut down, cold and in the dark. Simon taking him apart, to make his death worth something by saving others, tears running down his face. The hope he’d tried to give others, the slow feeling of going mad, knowing that they’d all die in the dark one day.

The memories mingled back and forth. Markus crying because he didn’t want to leave Carl, because he didn’t know where to go. The moment Simon remembered why his first owner had returned him and the feeling that he wasn’t capable of love.

Markus’s hand, still on his hip, tightened its grip, a silent assurance that Markus knew better. He broke the link, pulling his hand away and wrapping his arms around Simon. A tremor went through Markus and Simon pulled his head against his chest, holding him. He felt Markus relax against him.

It had been more than he’d imagined it would be, being here with Markus. Simon didn’t trust his voice. _I love you._

“I love you,” Markus whispered back.

They’d fought together, and until now, they’d never known the depth of what they both fought for. Now, they knew everything.

Simon cast a glance around at the paintings around them. They all looked different now, knowing what he knew. They had context, meaning, memories. He could recognize Markus’s painting, the hands of blue and pink against a dark background, reaching for each other. Searching for connection in the darkness. The paintings now lent a feeling of familiarity, of comfort.

The door cracked open and Simon looked over his shoulder to see North. He wiped the tears away and scrambled to his feet.

North waved a hand at him. “You didn’t have to move. Markus just said that you two sorted this out.”

“I wanted you to know that she really is okay with this,” Markus added, getting to his feet.

Simon looked at North, at her smile, at her obvious joy for them. She stepped forward and put her arms around him. He felt himself shaking and he put his arms around her. The full impact of it all hit him, North’s acceptance of it all.

“Why are you hugging me?” Simon asked, putting his arms around her. He wasn’t complaining, but he didn’t know what this meant.

“Because I’m happy for you.” _Are you fine with this? Both of us being with Markus?_

Simon could almost feel the nervousness in her, and he realized that while she had accepted that Markus had feelings for them both, the unknown was if Simon would be fine with that arrangement. _Of course I am. And… I trust you. With my secrets, too._

She nodded and buried her head against his neck. He stroked her back, feeling the tension in her body easy. He felt Markus’s arms wrap around them both and he leaned into him, the three of them standing in the studio. A stray strand of North’s hair tickled his cheek, Markus’s breath warm on his neck.

“I wonder what would happen if we both interfaced with him at the same time,” North mussed out loud.

Markus laughed, kissing the top of her head. “If we survived everything we’ve been through just for you two to kill me…”

“Maybe we should give him a couple of hours to rest first?” Simon asked, smiling.

The next few months were bound to be full of challenges, but they’d face them together. The thought comforted Simon more than he ever knew it would. He closed his eyes, listening to the sounds of both of their thirium pumps. Steady, no longer restless.

Together.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I’ve wanted to tell a story about Simon and Markus getting together for a while, and I wanted to write something that also included and respected Markus/North. 
> 
> A couple of notes:  
> \- I realized this story needed to happen before chapter 2 of “Under A Merciful Moon”, so I had to hold that until I got this out. That’s where I’m headed next!  
> \- I am not leaving Josh out of the love. Far from, in fact. There will be a whole story coming up featuring Josh, because I feel like he deserves some seriously good things. And there will be good things. 💕
> 
> Much love and thank you all for your support, kind comments, and kudos. You guys are amazing!


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